this burden called time

stick, have you ever thought about your future, seriously?
btw, this site is strange. dunno how they configured english text,
isn't there automatic line configuaration instead of this long string of senteces with no breaks? i have to remind myself to enter sentence breaks manually, this's getting stupid
enter(strike of key)

i shouldn't dump any more depressing thoughts into this newly built very alive slapstick fun-devoting blog but the mood swings, well, they'll pass soon i guess, if not,i will manually 'bin' them by brutal force, like madly tearing out a crossed-out piece of rubbish paper from my notebook and start new again.i'm not questioning you really, coz i have bravely glanced at what my future's going to be like and premonition tells me it's not rosy looking. should i try the tarot telling link at the sidebar? anyway there's my roommate who claims to be a great tarot magician,
once she claimed i would have a what she called 'apocalypse' quarrel with my neighbour- btw, throw in some words for my neighbour, name Didem, parents turkish, spent her childhood
(8 years) in the northern part of Japan, speaks perfect non-yankee-accented Japanese, whose half social cycle is japanese, who works part-time in a great Jap restaurant, who is small built, dirty brown curly hair, lovely looking. and how did we come to notice she actually speaks Jap- a 'random fact' is what she calls her japanese speaking. well, one day we heard some familiar but strange sounds, for eg. gumbade, benkio(study), sabishi(lonely), someone speaking outside our room. we peeped, not asian. blurry, was it our neighbour?? so we pretended to go outside and dump our luggage to take a closer look, and we were shocked at our new
discovery, that our foreign looking neighbour speaks perfect japanese. that's more than enough words to dscribe Didem, excessive.

where am i, so my bad mood and my gloomy perspective about my own future, sometimes when i look at those websites where people claim how glad , how grateful, how excited(string of adjectives) that they are following their dreams and doing what they enjoy every single secondand minute. that it's their dream come true. where is mine? what am i doing here? do i want to be a mad scientist? (i've come to the conclusion that what it takes to be a great scientist-madness), no and no and no. sometimes i even fear it. stick why can't you go on and be an independent novelist or script writer, and i , maybe, try my luck in graphics.

and i only live one life. time's a burden.
enter, key, tap!

that's just part of my daydreaming. maybe i can only find contentment when i do put in enough efforts, which aren't there obviously or else i'll be happier. those success stories,
how i wanna snigger sometimes. and listening to 胡彦斌的‘我的未来不是梦，我在认真的过每一分钟' he sounds so happy n convincing. wish i can steal part of it n carry it around with me. forget about the depressing talks, the crux of the problem, the more i look at it, is, i'm lazy. i just wanna be entertained. i don't want to be responsible for my future,and for my 'precious' (precious being those closely related to me)that's a sign of not really growing up i guess. fabrics so thin it breaks so easy. well, stick, wat r u thinking.share a piece with me. (sounds like pizza,or should i say
'lemme have a bite', in my case one bite=one whole piece)i must make it to the finals(i mean the exams). that's the target for now, dun care how morbid it sounds.

and we once said we're gonna meet somewhere in the States right?tell u, if i don't work anyharder, i won't make it there.

mmm, ok, feeling better, dump your black biles in if you wanna shout.
black bile= melancholy, melan=black, bile=choly
that's abt one of the positive things of learning word dissection,
but it irritates pple prof says we're losing friends

songs now on my playlist
我的未来不是梦
超时空爱情
do as infinity-yesterday n today
haru no kaze-the cat returns theme song
norah jones-shoot the moon